This might come across as disheartening for all those youngsters who are on the verge of taking a leap, or who have just done so and are living on a cloud. So I want to declare that these are my feelings and those of my friends. I am in no way qualified to pass judgement on marriages be it - love or arranged.
When I was a teenager full of romantic notions, thanks to the M&B's who glorify romance or the movies where the characters have a picture perfect wedding ! Hey hold on...dont most books and movies stop with the wedding ? Well let me point this out - the struggle to get to the wedding is nothing compared to the struggle that you have to undergo post wedding ! I am completing 10 years of marriage this year, hence I owe it to myself to dissect the journey a bit.
I started with preconcieved notions:
Love marriage rocks ...Arranged Marriage sucks !
Love marriage is sooooo cool..Arranged is boring !!!
If its a love marriage..ofcourse it should work beautifully !!!!
Ahem...seriously guys scrap out the above listed notions. It doesnt work like that. Marriage is a lot of work either way, its about matching your system clock to your spouse's - yet at the same time trying to click on your own.It truly is about being open to accept new set of relations, trying to forget that you may ideally have not chosen them to be in your best buddy list. Its also a test of your diplomatic abilities, and ofcourse patience. For example, we dont realise how our daily routine/habits might rub another person in the wrong way. But its true - right from the time each of us get up in the morning, to the way we eat, and go to bed can be aggravating to someone else ! Unfortunately courting period - love or arranged does not train us for this. This has to be experienced ! Actually even though a"live in" relationship is too forward for my conservative mind - I can see the logic behind it. Its in a way a trial period, a pre-marriage pact that is definitely easier to back out of, if things dont work as planned.
So my conclusion after 10 years of hard work ? Lets just say that I have more work cut out for me, and I have just completed Phase-1. But I should say that work though not always enjoyable does lead to nice rewards. The key is in believing in yourself.
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